If you’re trying for a fresh start, there’s an organization called the John Howard Society that can help you.

The John Howard Society Mission statement is to “support new beginnings by providing support to those in conflict with the law and adults at imminent risk of coming in to conflict with the law, in order to facilitate positive change and achieve community reintegration.”

This mission statement goes well with this week’s letter -- keep them coming, I am getting over 200 a week and am responding to all via email.

Monique,

I'm a 24 year old man and finally ready to get my life together. I haven't finished high-school. My criminal record is a mile long, with issues from domestic violence to robbery. I'm on probation. I have a 2 year old son who, for most of his life, has only seen me behind bars or brief moments before I leave the house after numerous fights with his mother. I use marijuana on a daily basis and sometimes I will go further than that if I'm with the boys or having a good time. I'm not proud of what I do, but I can’t say I always felt like that. I did think I was cool, I felt like the big man on campus when I would get out of jail. Like I was untouchable, like I was tough, like I was proud. I'm clearly over it, I want to be a good partner, a better father, I want to dress to impress not look like a thug anymore. I want to make my parents proud. I'm done wasting my life..... but where do I start.

Wanna be a man

I would like to start off by saying how wonderful it is that you have come to this conclusion. It’s never too late to make a change. The truth, change doesn't happen over night. So I hope this is something you really want from your heart. You want to change your entire life. You have to understand that in order to do that, you have to take one step at a time. Change one thing at a time. There are going to be moments when breaking the law is much easier than doing a hard day’s work, when lying feels better than telling the truth, but it’s true what the old folks said.... it feels great to earn your own money, to watch your child graduate knowing you raised him, it feels amazing when you can learn from your mistakes, instead of cheating and never leaning a thing.

I think your first stop to get you started on your journey is the John Howard Society. The organization has a wide rage of supports: Counselling, post incarceration housing services, employment services, aboriginal outreach programs, transportation services, domestic violence and partner services, positive parenting programs, anger management groups, community justice programs and much more.

The staff is amazing and are professionals who understand what you’re going through and how hard things might get sometimes. But the whole purpose of this support system is to keep you out of trouble, get you the help you need, have the resources to be job ready and in the end be an upstanding citizen. You are going to meet people your own age and men who have taken a couple walks around the block who have a few things to share. My advice, listen and take the help that's offered. Be someone you can look at in the mirror and be proud of. Be yourself. Be real. There's nothing unique about having your pants half-way down your ass, a "go directly to jail card" and not being able to spell... we live here with millions of opportunities, there's no reason not to take advantage of them. Below are some resources I think you should call. Remember knowledge is power, young man.

Change begins with you. No one said you have to know all the answers. All you need is the will, the strength and the patience..... and some great people to back you up. Good luck :)

Toronto District School Board (TDSB), Continuing Education

Program Type: Adult Credit High School

Program Name: Toronto District School Board - Secondary Credit Night School Programs (Two nights per week in a 15-week semester from 6:30pm to 9:30pm each night.)

Phone: (416) 338-4222 Website: http://www.tdsb.on.ca/coned

TDSB offers Night School for adults and adolescents who are working towards their secondary school diploma (OSSD), or who require an additional credit to meet the criteria for admission to training or post-secondary programs. Elementary students and students in grade 9 are not eligible to attend Night School. Students in grade 10 and non-TDSB day students must contact their guidance department regarding eligibility. ESL courses available at certain locations.

John Howard Society , telephone number 416-925-4386 toll free 1-866-265-4434

website: www.johnhowardtor.on.ca

Monique Fenech is an addictions and community services counselor. She can be reached via email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .